Thursday, November 24, 2011

Party at the Crib

For the past two months, my darling daughter has been waking up at night. Sometimes this is once a week, the past two weeks, it has been three times too many.  The time that she wakes up varies as much as when she wakes up. Usually though, it's when I'm done for the day and getting ready for bed. I usually let her squawk for a few minutes. She does wake up in the night, let out a few cries, then goes to sleep. So I just wait to see if she's grunting out a fart or if she is really awake. 
If I realize she is really awake, I hurry, brush my teeth, wash face, and get in there before it turns into screaming hysterics. I pick her, sit in the rocking chair, and nurse her. There have been a few rare nights where she goes to back to sleep and I get to go to bed. Most times, she nurses and then proceeds to either play or scream. Mostly it has been the latter. Now mind you, my daughter is now 9months old. I was pretty sure this stuff only happened in the first few months. I endured this with my son and my husband found me many times in tears in the nursery, rocking him while he just screamed.  
I have also ended up in tears many times with my daughter. 
It wouldn't be so bad if she was just screaming and crying relentlessly. She has started grabbing anywhere that skin is showing and pulling at it until she loses her grip, scratching in the process. I keep her nails short, but even short nails hurt horribly. 
This whole endurance test has lasted up to 3hours. There have been two mornings (that I remember) where I was still awake when my husband woke up to get ready for work. 
The worst part is that she doesn't sleep in after being awake for 3hours in the middle of the night. Knowing you are going to be getting only 3-4 hours is a horrible reality sometimes. 
This past time, I just gave up, turned the light on and let her play on the floor of her bedroom. I sat in the rocking chair and dozed lightly while she threw her blocks across the floor. After half an hour of this, she crawled over rubbing her eyes.  I shut the light off, nursed her and she promptly went back to sleep. 
Half an Hour. 30mins. 
Not 3hours of intense mental breakdown and hearing loss. 
I felt so stupid. Why didn't I do this sooner?? Why was I torturing myself this way, by making her do something she just didn't want to do, but that I wanted her to do so desperately? 
This was a simple lesson to me as a parent. That despite everything that we may try to make our children do, they are their own person and have their own ideas and will. All we can do sometimes as parents, is just step aside and be there when they need us. 
At least now I know how to get more sleep at night and how to end it peacefully without tears. 

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