I used to think that statement was funny, because of the number of people I had come across that
I actually felt that way about.
Not so much anymore.
Our society has turned into a blunt, rude, and sarcastic tidal wave. What people used to think, they now say or post online. With the fantastic cover of Anon we feel we can state exactly what we are thinking without any real consequences. Covers such as "In my honest opinion (imho)" , "Just sayin'....", "Not to be rude..", and "I'm sorry, but.." have become so commonly used that they no longer really mean what they used to. They are mostly covers to try to take the blow out of the words that are to follow. They are used in bullying attacks online and in real life.
What ever happened to just letting someone have their opinions? Why are we so determined that WE have to prove THEM wrong? To prove my point, rather than arguing till the cows come home and beyond with my friends about politics, we just steer clear of things that we know are real hot issues. How I feel about our president is different than how my friends and family may feel. Instead we just find common fighting ground to vent our frustrations over. Such as parenting or idiotic laws.
I could argue until I'm blue in the face to prove my point and all it will do if create a gap that could do severe harm to our friendship, especially if the above phrases are used.
So why is it ok to say these things to people we don't even know? When did we lose our manners? People who used to silently judge people who breastfed or bottle fed are now going up to those parents and stating that you are doing it wrong and they think you are a failure because of such and such. Proving our own superiority as parents in a unimportant contest is absurd.
Then we are the now belittled parent are scrambling for a rebuttal that is usually just as rude. Thus starting the mommy wars, which in the end just causes lost friendships, hurt feelings and a sudden sense of failure.
Yes, there are parents out in the world that are 'doing it wrong' and are 'epic fails' in the grand scheme of common sense. Such as the mother I saw the other day at my son's school, the car seat straps were way too loose and twisted. But as horrible as the next sentence is going to sound, this is something that she has to learn herself. Me saying something at that moment, yes, it might of brought her attention to the seriousness of the issue. But it would of also embarrassed her in front of all the other parents and it could of caused a much larger scene than the bit of helpful advice it would of been meant as.
I didn't want that for me or for her.
And this brings up my other point. Because of all this needless mudslinging online, simple things meant to be helpful are brushed aside or taken as a personal attack. I have had many helpful comments be taken the wrong way and had it turned on me with me feeling embarrassed, hurt, or angry at myself for wanting to even offer help. "See if I ever do THAT again." This is a dangerous, dangerous threshold to crossover into. This leaves stranded motorists helpless because no one will stop in their aid and others who are in sincere need of help, helpless. Because no one wants to be that person who is filmed and posted on YouTube or made into a meme that goes viral online, all because of a failed attempt at help. There are some out there who are strong enough to continue to keep attempting to help, but eventually even they will be burned too many times and stop. Especially if it is just them that are trying to help.