tears

 just wanted to share this, because it's just proof I am 100% mom. 

My daughter has been sleeping in her crib since she was 7months. She just doesn't sleep well when we bedshare. My son did the same thing for a while and now he still sneaks into bed with us in the middle of the night. 

Well, even though she has been sleeping in her crib, I had left out the co-sleeper, set up next to my side of the bed.  Mostly in nostalgia and memories of peering over at my sleeping babes, but mostly in the hopes that she would soon again join our bed. It's been 3 months and she still sleeps in her crib. 

My husband told me he was going to take it down and put it away, especially since she is now too big for it. Well despite knowing this, when I went up to bed last night. I cried. I knew it was gone, but not seeing it next to the bed made my heart so full of emotion and I cried. I layed on my pillow looking at the nothing and cried. Part of me was angry at him for taking it down. But I can't blame him, it's mostly the fact that she is no longer my tiny babe. She is a crawling, eating, wannabe talker, growing up into a toddler. 

 I didn't cry when we took it down with my son, but for some reason this time, I just cried. 

::sigh::