The potty tantrums

Since my daughter has turned 3, her tantrums have taken on a whole new face. She is now old enough where she wants to exert her own will and make her own choices. This has resulted in tantrums about chocolate milk, tantrums about her brother looking at her, and the potty.

I hate the potty tantrums, with a capital H.

It's something that began very innocently. In an effort to help her become more independent, we taught her to tell us she had to go potty when we were out so as to save her the embarrassment of an accident while at the store. This part of the equation has worked out wonderfully.

Then there is the flip side. She WILL NOT go potty at home unless we grant her permission when she tells us she has to go potty. So when we hear her say "I have to go potty." we have to respond "Okay, go potty." and off she will run. She dumps it, flushes, and washes her hands. Total success. #2's she will call for us to come and clean up. Which that is fine. Don't mind it one bit.

What the problem is, is when we don't hear her or respond in time to her "I have to go potty." cry. Like this morning when I was in the shower. The water is going and the fan is running. Do I hear her outside the bathroom door? No. My oldest announces in his normal voice that she has to go potty. But it is too late. I hear her bedroom door slam and the tantrum has begun. This happens almost daily. It happens when I'm trying to get us out the door for school, to the store, bath time, you name it. The result is a little girl who is ticked off beyond belief because I didn't give her permission to pee, who is now wet, rolling around in a fists of fury tantrum.
This morning was no exception. I was able to sidetrack her with coaxing about seeing her friends, being able to sing songs, have snacks, etc. Gratefully, it wasn't a total wardrobe loss, but it required a change of underpants and stockings. Then the demon reared it's head again while she was going potty and refused to get off of the potty so we could go.

I am so tired of fighting with a half naked mini beast.

Thoughts while traveling

Apart from being on the verge of starving most of the time while hunting for food that I can eat and scouring through restaurant menus, hoping that the clues from the basic ingredients are enough to guide me.
I've become very aware of how hard it is to live in today's modern world with a food allergy.

I brought some basics with me: gluten free cereal, kale chips, almond butter, coconut milk yogurt and pop tarts (hey, they were on sale). But I have since learned a lot of the harsh realities of how hard it really is. The corner store offered some tidbits, but there wasn't 1 item that could be dubbed meal worthy (not even a frozen dinner). Everything contains what I cannot eat; meat, dairy or gluten.

The first day of our trip, my food was breakfast, since everything in the breakfast bar offered at the hotel (except for fruit) was out. Indian food was a decent lunch and Chinese veggie rice was a scanty dinner. Despite 2 helpings.

Breakfast is probably the hardest because I miss sausages and bagels probably the most. I have succeeded in finding gluten free bagels, but they are a sad replacement to a Bruegers (which there either that or a DD at EVERY corner here).

The second day was harder. We ate a sit down dinner at PF Chang's, which despite their generosity at having a vegetarian menu, I'm am almost positive as I write this that the tofu was tipped in something. Dinner was a choice of the lesser of the two evils, Meat or Dairy? My option of going with dairy is not boding well. Despite topping it off with more kale chips.

As I write this sitting here lamenting the contents of my stomach and how I have nothing to eat. Someone who has been eating something they shouldn't have has just been loaded into an ambulance across the street at a pizza place. I may complain about my diet, but that is the reason I do it.

At least I hope that's what the result won't be.

Summer Vacation, apparently for the birds

I know this article bit is mostly opinion, but it is the type of opinion that makes me want to smash something.
This bit shows the low opinions that most people have of our school system and our teachers. At the end of the article I was left with nothing more than the feeling that this writer is part of the mass that sees our schools as nothing more than babysitting system. Is it an inconvenience that school takes a break during the year? Yes, but most cities and states have created programs, at low or no cost, to help out the parents who were using the school as a babysitting service while they were at work. I have apathy for single parents, most of them ended up that way unintentionally. Either by divorce or death but, then we also have those that ended up there by their own stupidity. In my opinion, if you want your child to have a good start, start being a good parent. If you cannot afford to send your child to the fancy summer camps, then look into the summer programs that your city or state may offer. If anything it is only 2 1/2 months that we are really talking about.

Let’s abolish summer vacation

Allowing schools to close their doors every summer undermines their purpose, and widens the class gulf between rich and poor.

By The Week Staff | July 31, 2013

M

atthew YglesiasSlate.com

There are few more cherished American traditions than the summer vacation, said Matthew Yglesias. Many of us have nostalgic memories of long days chasing fireflies, selling lemonade, and going to sleepaway camp. But for underprivileged Americans and their kids, “summer vacation is a disaster.” Research has shown that the average student “loses” about a month of schooling over the summer break—but poorer students lose far more than wealthier kids. In fact, they “fall further behind each and every summer.” While wealthier parents spend thousands of dollars to send their kids off to enriching experiences at camp or on trips, working-class single moms are “put in a nearly impossible situation,” having to somehow watch and occupy their kids while holding down a job. Schools are a public service, and no other public service just “vanishes for months at a time.” Imagine the reaction if police, air traffic controllers, or bus drivers vacationed en masse. Education is just as important to society as law and order—and allowing schools to close their doors every summer “critically undermines” their purpose, and widens the class gulf between rich and poor. School “should happen all year round.”

Becoming a believer

2 weeks into going Gluten Free and I have to say that this has been an eye opening experience. Not only in how gluten is in EVERYTHING but in how much happier my stomach has been. I no longer suffer from painful bloating, which I honestly thought I only suffered when I ate dairy. This explains why despite being dairy free for 10 years I still would suffer bouts of severe stomach pain and rude gas. To the point that it would take my breath away (not the gas but the pain).

I feel normal. Or as normal as I have in years.

I am not suffering. I had my ice cream and brownie sundae this evening. I will miss the textures of some things, but I am finding recipes that can be tweaked and if not, well I really don't need to eat them anyway. Bread has been hard though. I've never been a big fan of toasted bread sandwiches but toasting it seems to be the only way it stays together. 

As far as my Lupus symptoms are concerned. The biggest difference is my face. 

The skin on my face was part of the reason why I caved to take the medication. Yes, my vanity shined through like a light in the dark. I have always taken pride in how I was never ridden with a pizza face and how I never needed layers of makeup to cover anything other than a random zit. 

My face was rough, pimpled, itchy, and embarrassing. People I worked with kept asking why my face looked so bad. Family and friends asked too, but were a bit more polite about it. My uncle jokingly asked if the fleas were bothering me, I shot back that it was only the howling that bothered me. 

But despite my joking. It did bother me. I've never been model thin and have always had self esteem issues to boot. But my face was my pride and having it suddenly plagued and ravaged was a deep blow. 

Having said all this, being GF for 2 weeks has done more than almost 5 months of medication has. My face is scarred now, yes. But it doesn't itch, there is no scaly build up and it isn't a mess of pimples or swelling. 

This is my face pre pregnancy. The flash made me a bit pale here, but I've always had rosy cheeks. My great grandma said it was because I ate too many strawberries.

This is me after having my son. They got a little more rosy, but I thought it was due to weight gain.

My silly face while pregnant with my daughter.

My cheeks were always pink/rosy after having her. Once again I thought it was just because of weight gain.

So, a determined me started to work on my weight. It flared out worse. This was when it was borderline unbearable. Dry looking, bumpy, red and itchy as heck. (My hair was also at it's thinnest here.) This is how it looked when I started the medication.

This is it a four months later. The bumps are still there, I was still battling the itchy dry skin and never ending zits.

This is a week into going GF. The red is still there, but the dry skin has subsided and the itching is gone.

This was this past weekend. My cheeks are scarred now, I'm sure of it. But the micro zits, itching, dry skin build up and pain are gone. It is still sensitive, like when I scratch it absent minded, but it is so much better than it was. 

I am convinced that I may be a carrier for Lupus or it might be enough of a blip to cause immune/intestinal issues. But I am starting to doubt if what I have is really Lupus or if it is just a side effect of my forcing my body to digest foods that it cannot handle. I never really had these problems when I was younger but having two children has probably changed my body in more ways that I previously thought. My next test will be when I switch to a more holistic minded Rhematologist. I am curious to see how I do without the medication, but I am positive that unless I find a more holistic minded doctor, it will be a self run experiment. Which I don't feel 100% confident in doing without supervision. Maybe I am fooling myself and it's actually the medication kicking in fully. But, just maybe, it is just was my diet. 

Gut Healing

I have been doing a lot of reading online lately. To the point at times of making my head want to explode, but it hasn't yet.  Mostly it has been reading about the connections found by homeopaths of Leaky Gut, Gluten Intolerance and Autoimmune disorders. Most importantly Lupus, which is the disorder that I have been dealing with. I had started taking medication for it, but it had a very negative effect on me mentally.  I felt like I had lost my battle to it. That my own physical health was no longer in my control. That is a very hard thing to grasp. It brought around bouts of depression that I drowned out by binge eating things that I had been avoiding for the past few years. This of course made my feel worse, but sated my monster briefly.

Then something happened that changed my perspective and brought about my late night readings online. One of my best friends infant daughter developed severe food allergy eczema brought on by the food my friend was eating while breastfeeding. I have to emphasize on serious huge broken out patches of skin that are weeping blood and puss. So in desperation she went on an extreme elimination diet and as a result her daughters skin improved by 75%. This of course was after her late night reading sessions, finding out the there is such a thing as steroid cream addiction, and that she is also allergic to detergent sulfates. As well as a mass of other things that continue to pop up like some kind of terrible whack a mole game.

Her daughter has an overactive immune system.

This got me thinking about my own body, which then lead me into the realms of Leaky Gut and Autoimmune Disorder definitions and treatments.

The trouble with Lupus is simple. There is no one treatment, the same way there is no one symptom. It is a conglomerate disorder. There are other disorders that mimic Lupus and people are often misdiagnosed with other issues when the issue is Lupus. The whole thing is very very gray. The biggest problem is that this leaves doctors with very little to work with, some limited studies and only one medication that has alleviated the general symptoms.

Then I read this article by FOODMATTERS: Natural Ways to Prevent and Reverse Autoimmune Disorders. .  It brought up some points and things to consider that I never really gave any thought. I have had my vitamin supplements that I've been taking religiously since day one. Apart from my breakdown, I had been sticking to a dairy, citrus, nightshade plant, and sugar free diet. I had never considered that something as simple as not chewing my food into a pulp could of been part of the problem, nor that I could possibly have a gluten intolerance as well (*What Doctor's Don't Tell You).

As a mom, food has become a luxury and the idea of being able to eat anything some days is almost a pipe dream. So the concept of the damage I may of done by forcing my stomach to digest whole chunks of quickly ingested food, actually made me feel horrible. My body is already working double time trying to heal itself and here I am making it work harder.

So, I made the decision to go gluten free, vegetarian and to sit and chew my gosh darn food. This of course being added to what I have been already doing. So I am basically a gluten free vegan for lack of a better term. It sounds horrible I know. But what has helped me is visualizations. I have been picturing my stomach like my friend's daughter's inflamed skin. If I eat something that I'm not supposed to, I picture it wounded, open, bloody and weeping. Like something from the ICU of a hospital. I have to do this, because there is no external cue that what I just ate is bothering me. It's all inside.

So far I am into day 5 and let me tell you. My stomach feels so happy right now. I am much less gassy and bloated than I have been in a long time. If anything I have noticed effects from foods that I have eaten today that I now know I can't eat again or at least for a while. For example, I take a daily health tonic called Fire Cider. I started taking it daily to combat the symptoms from the Raynaud's Syndrome I recently developed. It's got quite a kick to it. Well, today I took it for the first time in a few days and my stomach burned immediately after I took it. Not like heartburn, it was as though I had swallowed a match. It happened again later when I bought something to eat at work. I don't know if it's happened before because I don't know if I was paying close attention to what my gut was telling me before. Or if I even suffered a single phenomenon like that because my entire gut was a war zone. Who notices a single bomb when they are going off all around?

My goal with this is not be on my medication anymore. If it is something that is controllable with drastic diet changes for the rest of my life. I am fine with that. The long term effects of that will not cause cancer nor cause me to go blind, like the side effects of my medication.

I'm a big girl. I can eat my soy and kale.

Updates

So, despite all my hopes my sons bad cavity had to be filled since it had actually become a hole in his tooth. Though, that being said, two of the other "stain" cavities have gone and we have one at a stand still. Same with my daughters cavity. They aren't getting worse, but the stain is still there. I will gladly take that for now.

I am going to try the xylitol in the next batch I make since my children cannot get over the taste of it without some sweetening. I myself love the tooth powder and the "mud" version of it. (It literally looks like you just squeezed mud onto your toothbrush thanks to the bentonite clay). It's very similar to the Earth Paste that is for sale in health stores and on amazon. Only for mine I didn't use the xylitol.  My teeth went through a brief period of being hyper-sensitive to hot/cold and sweet, yet it was over in a few days and hasn't returned. Which is nice because despite having used Sensodyne and other sensitive teeth products I still had bouts of sudden pain.

Moving on, I wish I could say that I had had success going completely no poo. I don't think I ever will be able to since I am an avid runner and am a sweaty matted mess 5 days a week. My children on the other hand have fantastic hair now. I will have to note that the shampoo did ferment really quickly on me thanks to the heat we have been suffering through lately.

Truly Soap Free Shampoo

I've attempted going no-poo before, but the apple-cider vinegar and baking soda route always left my head sore and my hair oily. I never seemed to be able to get the formula right despite the tweeking. So I had given up for a while, until I was gifted this recipe from a lady who works in the wellness department of my local co-op.  She said it can be used as a shampoo and a gel if needed. The best thing is there is NO SOAP of any kind in it.

SIGN ME UP!

I am still in the transitioning phase from using shampoo to this, but my kids hair is already fantastic. It is soft, shiny and just so nice.




Basic Soap Free Shampoo

- 1 cup flaxseeds
- 4 cups distilled water
- 1 wedge of orange and lemon

- Place into a non-reactive pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer for 15 mins, stirring occasionally so the seeds don't stick to the bottom.
- Strain out seeds and citrus wedges. Pour into a shampoo bottle.

This formula doesn't create the magnificent suds you are used to. It may only make a little bit if any. You can tell by how your hair feels where it is.

That Darn Cavity

I know my posts and few and far between at times. My apologizes.

This past month has been an eye opener in SO many different ways. Having had to start actual mediation to help control some of my Lupus symptoms. I've also ramped up my running recently since I have created the insane goal of running a marathon at the end of this year.

More so I have been paying more attention to the things I put on my body and on my family.

Recently a trip to the dentist for my son ended with us finding out he has a cavity. I was devastated to say the least and very annoyed since his previous appointment six months ago didn't even have a stain or trouble spots pointed out. We also have not changed his diet or our brushing habits. The only thing that changed was his toothpaste. We had started using the Crest for kids that the dentist gave us a sample of. Call me crazy, but it just seemed to coincidental for him to suddenly develop a bad cavity. That and upon finding the cavity, the use of a fluoride rinse as well did nothing to strengthen it, yet he did get two more discolored spots on his lower canines. So, unless it's just the fact that he got a cavity and something is amiss else where, which seems hardly the case after doing some studying. I have completely changed my mind about store bought toothpastes, mouthwashes and even the organic ones.

 I found a great website  that not only offered information but a recipe on how to make your own tooth-soap. This other site offers a re-mineralizing tooth soap recipe that I am eager to try out.

This did come with some anxiety of course. I've been brainwashed by the world that you need to brush with the dentist recommended toothpaste that has fluoride in it. Going against this caused brief lapses of insanity and strange looks from my husband.

The Verdict of using the tooth-soap so far is: it is completely different than the store stuff. It doesn't suds up AT ALL. You are basically scrubbing your teeth for the 2 mins with what seems like spit and more spit. It also makes you more aware of your brushing habits. The teeth that you spent more time scrubbing feel clean, a really nice clean too. But you are very aware of the teeth you missed or didn't get so well, since there were no extra bubbles to "wash" those for you.
I made mine using wild orange oil to make it more kid friendly, so far there are no complaints except for how long we HAVE to brush for now. But, really, we should all be brushing for 2 mins anyway because that's what has been recommended for decades and I have no trouble with more brushing time (just the toothpaste).

Tooth soap recipe taken from Mommypotomus:

Homemade Tooth Soap Recipe

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon Dr. Bronner’s Baby Mild
• 4 tablespoons melted coconut oil
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 teaspoon water
• 20-40 drops essential oil (cinnamon, peppermint, spearmint, anise, fennel, sweet orange – or whatever you like. Number of drops varies based on the strength of the essential oil)
• 1 -1½ tablespoons raw honey or a few drops stevia extract – for more info on what type of stevia to use check out this article

Note: If you us honey some will settle at the bottom. Just stir a bit with the dropper before using.

Instructions:

1. In a bowl, mix water, 1 tablespoon honey and olive oil until well blended.
2. Add remaining ingredients and whisk thoroughly. Add remaining ½ tablespoon (½ teaspoon) honey if needed.
3. Pour mixture into a vial with dropper or soap dispenser (be sure to label it!) and use!

Basic Re-materializing toothpaste:

I used parts instead of tsp or tbsp so depending on the batch size use what is needed. You can add xylitol to this formula to help sweeten it, but since the jury still seems out on it, I just omitted it. *Note this can be a bit bitter and salty tasting but it really makes your teeth feel clean.

-5 parts calcium powder or cal-mag powder (I bought vitamin capsules and just emptied them into a bowl until I had what I needed)
-2 parts baking soda
-2-5 parts coconut oil (until you get the consistency you like)
-10-20 drops essential oils (I used peppermint)

-Mix powders together in a small bowl. Add coconut oil until you are happy with the consistency.
-Put into a small airtight jar. Use a spoon or popsicle stick to spread onto toothbrush.

Sheeple

I came across this term recently and it made me laugh. It really did. It is a term that is to describe people who blindly follow going only on what they are told.

It's used in the mudslinging that goes on in the Natural vs Hospital birthing wars. The people who blindly follow OB's are 'Sheeple' and the people who blindly follow Midwives are in with the 'Woo'.

'Woo'? Really?  That is a much less fun and less creative sounding name. More like 'WooHoo' but anyways.

So, because my mind works the way it does, I hear the term 'sheeple' and I instantly start humming, then singing:
 "Baaaaaaa....Look at all the Lonely Sheeple."

I have issues and I even have my own group of scientists working to solve them, until then.

This term is a fantastic one because unlike the not so fun sounding 'Woo', it can be used to describe anyone! If you blindly follow anything without any real cognitive thought process, you are a sheeple.  If you just listen to one radio broadcaster, watch one news station, read one news website and completely and utterly trust what is told to you 100% of the time, you might be a sheeple.  If anything now I have a new word in my dictionary to use.


 back to my song now.

Seven Minute Frosting

Otherwise known as stand at your stove for seven minutes over a boiling double boiler full of a meringue style frosting while using your hand mixer on med-power until it's done.

I would like to know what creative home-maker or chef decided that having a plastic mixer with a also plastic cord near your stove, that is on med-high temps, was a good idea. I would also like to know what other insane ideas they came up with and how many times the fires had to be put out.

If the dang stuff didn't taste so awesome, I wouldn't risk the fire hazard.

God might love you, but I think you're an idiot.

I used to think that statement was funny, because of the number of people I had come across that
I actually felt that way about.
Not so much anymore.

Our society has turned into a blunt, rude, and sarcastic tidal wave. What people used to think, they now say or post online.  With the fantastic cover of Anon we feel we can state exactly what we are thinking without any real consequences. Covers such as "In my honest opinion (imho)" , "Just sayin'....", "Not to be rude..",  and  "I'm sorry, but.." have become so commonly used that they no longer really mean what they used to. They are mostly covers to try to take the blow out of the words that are to follow. They are used in bullying attacks online and in real life.

What ever happened to just letting someone have their opinions? Why are we so determined that WE have to prove THEM wrong? To prove my point, rather than arguing till the cows come home and beyond with my friends about politics, we just steer clear of things that we know are real hot issues. How I feel about our president is different than how my friends and family may feel. Instead we just find common fighting ground to vent our frustrations over. Such as parenting or idiotic laws.

 I could argue until I'm blue in the face to prove my point and all it will do if create a gap that could do severe harm to our friendship, especially if the above phrases are used.

So why is it ok to say these things to people we don't even know? When did we lose our manners? People who used to silently judge people who breastfed or bottle fed are now going up to those parents and stating that you are doing it wrong and they think you are a failure because of such and such. Proving our own superiority as parents in a unimportant contest is absurd.
Then we are the now belittled parent are scrambling for a rebuttal that is usually just as rude. Thus starting the mommy wars, which in the end just causes lost  friendships, hurt feelings and a sudden sense of failure.

Yes, there are parents out in the world that are 'doing it wrong' and are 'epic fails' in the grand scheme of common sense. Such as the mother I saw the other day at my son's school, the car seat straps were way too loose and twisted.  But as horrible as the next sentence is going to sound, this is something that she has to learn herself. Me saying something at that moment, yes, it might of brought her attention to the seriousness of the issue. But it would of also embarrassed her in front of all the other parents and it could of caused a much larger scene than the bit of helpful advice it would of been meant as.
I didn't want that for me or for her.

And this brings up my other point. Because of all this needless mudslinging online, simple things meant to be helpful are brushed aside or taken as a personal attack. I have had many helpful comments be taken the wrong way and had it turned on me with me feeling embarrassed, hurt, or angry at myself for wanting to even offer help. "See if I ever do THAT again."  This is a dangerous, dangerous threshold to crossover into. This leaves stranded motorists helpless because no one will stop in their aid and others who are in sincere need of help, helpless. Because no one wants to be that person who is filmed and posted on YouTube or made into a meme that goes viral online, all because of a failed attempt at help. There are some out there who are strong enough to continue to keep attempting to help, but eventually even they will be burned too many times and stop. Especially if it is just them that are trying to help.

Cold

The recent  changes in my Lupus symptoms, I have to say are downright irritating and annoying. 

This past summer I was able to shed quite a bit of weight to help with caring for myself.  Under my Dr. supervision, I started running and even got myself up to the distance of 10miles. Then winter hit and I found myself unable to cope with the dip in temperatures.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have never been a fan of socks and slippers, but now I cannot do without both. My feet turn white and purplish if I do not have on either two pairs of socks with slippers over top. I have invested in wool and fleece socks for the first time in the history of my life. It's not only my feet that are affected, my hands go numb easily and also turn white. I also am now the owner of fleece pj's and go to bed wearing socks with them. 

My toes in particular have been affected for the worse. If I do not wear my millions of layers, I noticed that I started to get purple dots on them. They also are MUCH more sensitive than they used to be. Stubbing a toe  isn't pleasant in the first place but I was usually over it in about a minute. Now, it's as though my toe has broken. I spend the good part of five minutes rubbing and soothing my throbbing digit. It's not pleasant. At my most recent visit to my Dr, I pointed out my mysterious dots. He sighed and stated that this is a common symptom with Lupus and Reyes syndromes. It has an old name "Chillbains" or "Chilblains".  But it is basically cold blisters that form on the feet due to poor circulation. There isn't a treatment just for it, other than keeping your toes warm.  It can lead to nerve damage and eventually amputation if not taken care of properly. Hooray. I was prescribed a high blood pressure medication to help open my blood vessels up to help with the poor circulation. I also inquired if there was a vitamin I could take to help with it that I could try first. Since I have always had low blood pressure, the idea of taking high blood pressure medicine makes me nervous.  I have added L-Carnitine to my vitamin regimen and am waiting patiently to see if it is going to help. I have also been drinking Licorice Root Tea and Burdock Root Tea in the hopes of something working. 

Heavy medications make me nervous for all sorts of reasons and they are all listed in the Side-effects.  Most of the ones prescribed for Lupus patients have "may be linked to some forms of cancer" and "stroke or heart attack" in the listing. No thanks, don't feel like dancing with death today, not while I have small children anyway. 

Then there is my "mask".  I'm not sure if it is linked to my new circulation issues or to my being in the sun a lot over the summer, but I now have a very very apparent Lupus mask that butterflies on my face. It is my diet indicator now. If I have dairy or sugar it puffs out, little tiny pimples appear and it itches like mad. I basically want to rip my own face off. This has made it very hard to wear makeup (not that I was big on it anyway) to hide it a little, even the most natural and sensitive skin brands still cause inflammation and burning.  I have to hunt and bounce between sensitive skin lotions. And I now only use glycerin soap to wash my face with. Anything else dries it out or irritates it making it worse. So, even though I was never much of one for makeup and dressing up, the option is completely gone. I guess that's alright, that takes time and patience that I never really had when I was doing it. There is nothing that I can take that will treat this. Staying out of direct sunlight and wearing sunblock are all the treatments listed. The trouble is, I like to be outside when it's nice and (like with the makeups and skin creams) there isn't a sunblock I have found yet that my face can handle. Since I don't want to be a hermit and live in a dark cave, I will keep hunting and carry on. 

I'm sorry........what?

There has been a story going around online about a teen mother who was denied access to a room to pump for a her baby while at school.  (Gratefully the school has decided to create a place for her to pump in reaction to this story's publicity.) Click here for the blog.

What bothered me the most about this wasn't that she was a teen mother nor that she was denied somewhere to pump. It was the attitude of some mothers stating that she should be allowed to nurse her baby in class while at school.

What?

Apparently these people have forgotten what it's like in High School. Granted this new mom now hopefully has a different view of her body after having a baby, but she is in a school filled with hormonal teenagers.  How horribly awkward would it be to try nursing in a class half filled with horny boys who keep leering at you in the hopes of seeing a nipple?  That and nursing a baby while multi-tasking isn't easy. The baby might be still now while it's small, but that doesn't mean a bout of colic isn't going to happen or that she is going to be able to take notes that are legible at the same time.
Frankly, if the teacher cannot nurse her baby while teaching, then the student can't either.

Whatever area that is designated for teachers to pump and store while they are teaching, should be also accessible to the student. It is a work place and work places should have an area open for use that is private for mother's to do this.

I'm not going to touch the issue of her being a sophomore. I could barely talk to boys in 10th grade, let alone do the deed with them.  But this does bring up more issues.  Teenage girls think babies are cute. We have seen them on talk shows and (sadly) on Maury, toting around a baby doll and admitting to having unprotected sex just to have a baby.  Yes, babies are cute. They are supposed to be so they will get the attention they need to survive.  To me there just seems to be a lot lacking in the parenting world since this is happening more and more often.  There is even a show dedicated to it and the stars appear on the front of US and People magazine.  Talking about it with our kids is awkward. BEYOND awkward. But we have to talk to them about it, it's our job as parents to help our kids not get themselves into a huge mess that could effect the rest of their lives.

An interview with actor William H. Macy got me thinking.  Sex is locked up behind an R rating and yet it is something that is natural and (for some people) happens on a daily basis. Yet, guns appear in PG movies that we allow our kids to watch. I'm not saying that I think sex should be in PG movies, but in light of how more kids are shooting each other in recent history, it does make one wonder.

Interview below; for full interview ---> The Guardian

Do you think society today places too much emphasis on sex? 1) Or do we deny it too much?

Yes and yes. I don't know about Great Britain but I think America has got it pretty well bollocksed up. And I think our films have a lot to do with our views about sexuality, and I think we're ill-served by our ratings board, who need to get into therapy, in my opinion. We're so accepting of violence – ugly, ugly, ugly violence and we let our children watch it. I don't let my kids (2)watch it. And yet we are allergic to sex. And I don't know much but I know this: violence is bad and sex is good. Even the bad sex I've had was pretty good. But violence is bad – it's always bad, there are no exceptions. It's bad. And it's ugly and we've got to paint it as it is.

Uh huh.

As an actor I don't want any censorship of any kind but I think we can hold the film industry to a higher standard. If we're going to have violence let's tell the truth about it. It makes me disgusted when I see the hero get the crap kicked out of him and he's making love in the next scene. If you're going to kick the crap our of your hero then have him stay beat up. Tell the truth about it. And this film (3) tells the truth about it. It's people with real disabilities and sex – what could make an audience more uncomfortable? And yet the result of the film is that you love being human; you love humanity, you feel good about yourself at the end of it.

What do you think the effect is on society of these distorted set of values?

You have priests molesting children. You've got Jeffrey Dahmer. You've got a huge porn industry. You've got people going to their grave unfulfilled. You've got husbands and wives torturing each other because we can't talk about anything and we can't be honest about it.

So ... a pretty big effect, then.

It's a huge part of being alive. They say that young kids, especially boys, are thinking about it every four seconds, or something like that. They think about sex more than they think about food. Our normal way of suppressing it does not work. It doesn't work at all. I mean with the amount of crap we've had laid on our shoulders from our parents about our sexuality, it's a wonder we can function at all.

Sugar Saga

I have written about sugar before.

Since my son started attending the free preschool our city offers, I cannot count how many times he has come home and been suffering from it's effects. Temper tantrums that escalate more quickly than I can fathom and begging for more sugar. There was one week there were three birthdays and all the parents sent in cupcakes and cookies. Then there was the ice cream sundae and pajama days. Mind you, I have absolutely nothing against ice cream and pajamas. Nothing.  But all of this has made me profusely aware at how sensitive my kids are to sugar and how much sugar they Do Not get at home.

A reminder of this happened this past week when I was making cookies. I had planned on making chocolate chip cookies without the cup each of brown and white sugar. My husband of course made the comment that they taste so much better with sugar in them. I shrugged and made them with the sugar. My little test tasters were waiting eagerly for when they were cool enough to try.  1 for everyone, except myself.

I clocked it.

Within half an hour of having the cookies, we had meltdowns involving a very loud and angry screaming fit.
Cursing under my breathe, I scooped all the cookies up, tossed them into a zip lock and up into the top shelf of the cabinet they went.  I then made a orange cranberry cookie without sugar using only honey.

It could of been coincidence. But looking back into my children's eating habits, sugared candies and cookies have never been in the top ten. Strawberries, blueberries, apples, pineapples and carrot sticks reign supreme. Yes, there are natural sugars in fruits and vegetables along with other things like crackers and cereal. But my son doesn't melt down over a hand full of strawberries the way he does over a cookie.

I finally felt like I had reached a breakthrough with my husband on this. While I was making the sugarless batch, I was cursing under my breath about how I feel like I'm the only one who sees it, yet I'm the crazy one, etc.  He countered with that he shouldn't have to give up what he likes because the kids are sensitive to it. Well, that backfired. Since I have been doing my best to live a sugar free life (brief hiatus for the holidays and a baby shower since it's everywhere!)  I have noticed that my kids aren't the only ones who get sugar rage.  I get it and so does my husband. I pointed that out to him and it stopped him in his tracks.  I told him that I have noticed that he gets angry quicker when he has had a sugary snack and that I do too.  The next day when he came home from work, he grabbed what was left of the junk from Christmas and threw them out.  This totally floored me. He then stated that he was no longer eating junk just to eat junk, he was going to only eat what he really enjoyed and only when the kids wouldn't see him. Because, every time he would go for a pop tart or cookie, his little princess also wants a bite. She also seems more apt to want junk than her brother.

Just more compelling evidence that our children follow our eating patterns whether we like it or not.

Choosing Cesearen

This book is due to be published soon. Below is what was taken from the website.

Choosing Cesarean - A Natural Birth Plan

by Dr. Magnus Murphy, MD
& Pauline Hull

Should I Choose to have a Cesarean Section?

If you are pregnant, or contemplating pregnancy and not sure what the deal is with elective cesarean - read on…

You may have heard the derogatory "too posh to push" blanket condemnation of women who choose to have their babies born by cesarean birth. However, you almost certainly have NOT heard the whole story, or even the true story. I can guarantee you that if you dig deeper and research this - that at the very least, you will start to think differently and may even question your previous firmly held opinions. Since although it may be true that most women today would not choose a cesarean birth, it is also true that more and more women do.
There are many good reasons for this - in spite of the erroneous special interest lobbies and the media driven agenda of marginalizing and vilifying women who dare choose an alternative for themselves and their babies than what is perceived as 'natural', 'safe' and 'better'. In fact, there is strong evidence that we have indeed passed the point already where planned elective cesarean as a birth plan, is a safer choice for a woman and her unborn baby, than planned vaginal delivery.

Choosing Cesarean - A Natural Birth Plan

I have joined forces with Mrs. Pauline McDonagh Hull to write the book: Choosing Cesarean; A Natural Birth Plan, to answer this need. More than three years in the making, this book will be published by Prometheus Books of New York and is scheduled for worldwide release in January 2012. In it, we investigate every aspect of the debate regarding planned cesarean vs. planned vaginal delivery, from the safety of mother and baby, ethical questions, economic realities, and questions about choice and informed consent.

In the book: Choosing Cesarean; A Natural Birth Plan we discuss worldwide trends in birth and how politics and vested interests and belief paradigms influence the birth experience of many women today. The risks of cesarean is clearly discussed in a dedicated chapter, so we are not glossing that over, but we do clearly demonstrate how the mantle of safety that so-called 'natural' childbirth has enjoyed till now, and which continues to be vigorously defended by vested interest groups, in fact, has to be shared (at the very least) with planned elective cesarean birth in today's First World.

About the Authors

I am a practicing urogynecologist and clinical assistant professor in obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Calgary, in Alberta, Canada. After many years of practicing general obstetrics and gynecology I decided to dedicate my professional life towards helping women with prolapse and incontinence, which are conditions commonly associated with vaginal childbirth.
Mrs. McDonagh Hull is an investigative journalist located in London, UK.

As the time for publication nears this website will be updated with new features and information, so check back often. The plan is to start a blog here, to enable comments and discussion.
In the meantime, please visit: www.pelvicfloor.com or the Facebook group page: Defending Cesarean.
And please tell your friends to visit.

Yours sincerely,
Magnus Murphy MD
Calgary, Alberta, Canada

 

 

I really have nothing to say. I'm completely stunned that a book like this would be published. C-sections are not natural nor are multiple sections safe. This book is just promoting a lie that sections are safe. Despite any warnings that are in the book. Promoting a book like this is doing harm to any kind of natural birth movements. Also helping to ruin the Best for Baby movements as well.

All I can hope for this book is that is withdrawn and disappears forever.

Silly Husband

We went on one of our adventurous grocery shopping trips this afternoon. Anything involving keeping two kids happy for an hour is an adventure.
My husband saw Oreo PopTarts and "snuck" them into the cart. When we got home and I was putting things away, I came across it and decided to read the ingredients. First quietly then out loud. I proclaimed that it had "High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar and Corn Syrup" in them. Then I tried pronouncing everything that is not a real food and finally said that there was nothing healthy in it. My husband retorted that they were made with "Real Cocoa Powder".
I started laughing and said "Ok, so Cocoa Powder might be the ONE thing that may be healthy".
 He fired back with "Well, that's what it says on the label. Made with REAL Cocoa Powder."

I lost it. I was laughing so hard that I wasn't making any noise. My dear husband a victim of advertising.

The Chickenpox Hunter

I am hunting, rather impatiently for chickenpox. I am a hunter who has feelers out and traps set, with not prey to catch and not a bite on the bait.  Varicella is the only vaccine that I personally feel is useless. It is a convenience vaccine to me, one that prevents parents from having to take time off from work for two weeks while they deal with a sick child. Yes, that does seem problematic for the parents who have never spent more than a weekend off with their kids between work days. But for us parents who do not live and breathe work and are not bothered by the idea of being home with a sick child, this is not an issue.
My husband and I both had chickenpox when we were kids. My entire 2nd grade class was wiped out in our school for about 3 weeks, right before a much anticipated field trip to Park Safari. This is part of the reason why I am seeking it out. I do not want to get Shingles and I would prefer not to get the adult vaccine for it. Though I know nothing is 100%. Both my husband and I would prefer to have a natural immunity update from our children.

My journey down the vaccine info road has been a long and slow one. Both of my children have all the other vaxes required by our state and peds. The only one I just see as bogus is chicken pox. It's the most common of common childhood illness. It was like the cold. Mothers would have pox parties so that all the kids would get it over with during the summer when school was on hiatus. It is not a deadly disease, it can carry risks like with everything. But heck, babies die from fevers still and other unknown causes. As sad as that is, it is a fact.

Yet now the race is on. I have to either find it and naturally immunize my children before my son starts school or give him the shot. Time is not on my side and so far neither is nature.

My only question is, when did this common childhood disease become cursed? When did it become something that we are frightened with? Adults are more likely to get shingles because their child was given the shot, thus denying the parents systems with a natural update to the disease.  What is even more interesting to me is that this episode of 'Arthur' still airs on occasion. If it were such a big deal, wouldn't they of pulled it?

Bad Advice

While we were splashing away at the beach the other day, I found myself following my daughter around as she toddled her way around beach blankets and other people. She was admired by everyone in her adorable swimsuit and commented about how tiny she is. This I'm used to. Yes, she is tiny and she's been moving since she was about 5 months (she learned quick that it was move it or get plowed over).
I happened to meet another mother who also had a tiny daughter, who had just turned one and was a pound shy of my daughter's weight. We talked a little bit about them and then she asked what my pediatrician says about her growth. I shrugged and said that she is constantly reassuring me that "She is Indeed Growing, slowly, but she's growing."  Then the other mom said that her ped told them to stop feeding her fruits/veg and to give her fattening things like mayonaise, cake, icecream, etc. The father was nearby and made the comment "Who gives their kid straight Mayo?".  I was shocked. I told her I wouldn't give her that stuff and just keep giving her the healthy foods. There are plenty of healthy fatty foods that you can give your kids like nuts and avacados. Ok, maybe peanut butter or cashew butter instead of straight nuts, but still. Most of those foods are high in sugar! I would rather my child gain slowly but beg for carrots over cake. That kind of diet gets them used to a bad diet and sugar fluctuations that will just lead to a bad eating habit roller coaster.

I understand worrying about a child gaining weight, especially if they are formula fed and the parents stop giving it at 1 in exchange for whole milk, but come on Cake? Really? Hummus is much more healthy and just as fattening. Granted it takes some being crafty on the parents part to get them to eat it, but it's worth it in the long run.

The Bad Organic Pie

The other day we decided to go down to our local farmer's market and see what there was. Sometimes we score some fresh vegetables and fruits, sometimes baked goods or sweets.  My son wanted the blackberries and my husband was on the prowl for a good pie. I was just happy looking around and contemplating whether or not I wanted to buy squash and zuchini.
We bought the blackberries and my husband was mulling over the small selection of pies left.  He spotted that one was sugar-free and a organic blueberry pie. He asked if I was interested. I said sure. Then I asked the man at the stall if there was a sugar substitute. He nodded and said it had Aspartame in it.
Aspartame? Really? Of all the sweetner substitutes out there they picked that one? The one linked to cancer and alzheimers? I was expecting at least Stevia, but I guess even that was far reached. Maybe the news of how bad aspartame is hasn't reached them or maybe they just don't believe it. Either way, I declined on the pie.

The next day I went out and bought some overripened strawberries and rhubarb. I then made a sugar-free pie using agave. Which by the way is fantastic.

Conditioning...

I don't like to sweat. My skin doesn't like taking showers twice a day. I get sick of water easy. I fatigue easy in the heat. My hair frizzes like crazy too.
And yet, I do not believe in Air Conditioning.  I never have.

I grew up for years without it and suddenly in my teens my father decided it was time that we had a unit stuck in every window in every room in their house. I protested. I fought. And most of the time I won.  My room as a teen had only one working window. There were two, but the other was huge and didn't have a screen, so I never opened it. Then after I graduated HS, I moved to a room in the attic that only had ONE window. I would often come home from school or work to find an A/C until shoved in my one working window and my bedroom a frigid temp. I always shut it off, unplugged it, pulled it out, put it out in the hallway, and proceeded to put my box fan back in. We argued relentlessly about this. He was angry because my room was leaking warm, humid, awful air into the rest of the cool house. I said that my room was full of fresh real air and that he should just keep my door closed. Eventually he got tired of hauling it back into my room and window. Especially when he realised that I was younger and could literally keep this up all summer.

One of the things I have come to love about my husband is his love of hating A/C.  We have been criticized for this of course. We're crazy with the heat. My dad made comments that he did want grand kids someday. (Yet somehow both of ours were convived in hot late spring weather without it.lol)  Our reasoning is simple, our bodies can be trained to deal with it. Not saying that in winter we go without heat, but we do keep ours set at 62-64 all winter.  Yet when the weather gets sweaty and hot, we just turn on a fan and down the liquids. The first day is always the worst. The second is better and by the third you're fine. I even turn on my oven in 94' in the shade, heat. Doesn't bother me anymore.
What does bother me is when people tell me I'm a bad parent for subjecting my children to it. I make sure they are hydrated as well. I buy electrolyte drinks and give it to them diluted. I want my children to be able to regulate their body temperature's naturally. What good are we doing our children if they are always in an environment that is the perfect temp? Then I hear about deaths and hospitalizations in the news during a rolling blackout. Yes, most of them are elderly, but some are adults who just didn't know how to hydrate themselves.
I have gone through two summer morning sickness, pregnancies this way too. Never once begging for A/C. In fact we sold the unit my dad bought us when we moved into our apartment. Brand New still in the box.

I know it seems like such a silly argument, but people are very emphatic about their A/C. To the point that they state "I can't live without it." Which really is total crap. People lived without it for decades. To have A/C was a sign you were rich. Then central air became that sign. Now it is everywhere. People have shut themselves up in their homes with recirculated indoor air blowing cold in their faces. Some people have it on so cold they need a blanket along with sweats and a long shirt. You can claim it is for comfort and in some places I understand. Yet in those places, people don't have A/C in their huts or tents. I find it funny that people who live hundreds of miles from the equator cannot handle or will not handle what it takes for their body to naturally regulate itself. Yet the people who do live close to the equator, don't need it. They wear long pants and shirts in 100' sun.  Water is life. Same goes for people who live near the poles. 75' hits and they are sweating. They are conditioned to their environment, not the other way around.

I worry that down the road several generations, we may suddenly see people who cannot regulate their body temperature at all. People who must live in climate controlled buildings. Also who knows what kind of illnesses will come about from people breathing in recirculated air and not fresh air?
Most of this is speculation. But I prefer to do what my ancestors did. Drink, eat, play and live while my body does what it is designed to do.