Monday, December 6, 2010

Expectant Fathering


Since we've decided to do a homebirth, my husband has been obsessed about one thing in particular. The birthing pool. When I was in labor with my son, he just kinda sat around and didn't do much except hold my hand and rub my back. When I was pushing he held one of my legs, until he couldn't bear to watch anymore (He said it looked like the head was going to just pop off.) Then he held my hand and helped urge me on.
Now since most of that isn't going to be happening, (at least the holding my leg and telling me when to push), he has been obsessing about the birthing pool.  He gets so specific it's makes me laugh. "How much does it weigh? How do I fill it/empty it? Where should we put it?" and his favorite "When do I start to fill it?"  I'm glad in some ways that he has something like this to think about rather than freaking out about how far my contractions are or if I'm doing ok. He can fall back on the tub and use that to help deal with me being in labor (and making my disgruntled cow noises). 
Other than the tub, there isn't much else that concerns him about the birth apart from having to purchase the birth kit and anything that is involved with the tub (renting, pool liner, and pump equipment.) The other day he was talking about it and asking whether I wanted towels or a tarp underneath it, in case any water spills. Having not given it much thought, I just shrugged and said it didn't matter, whichever he thought was best. He got this look on his face and said "This is important stuff here, I need to know which you would prefer."  I just grinned and tried to hold back a giggle. I just responded that I was going to be a little too preoccupied to have a preference. Then that started the whole parade of questions "Well can you at least tell me when I should start to fill it?"  "I don't know dear, probably when I hit transition would be a good time." "How do I know your in transition??"::Frantic tone::  "You can ask the midwives or you can just go by the noises I'll be making." ::puzzled look::  ::me sighing:: "You'll know when, someone will tell you that it's time." "I just don't want it sitting there full and then being cold when you really need it." and so it goes. We've had this conversation a few times already and since it's starting to get closer, the frantic pitch is added in more and more of the questions. 
It's a good thing men don't have babies. They would pass out at the first sign of labor but, it would change how Tool World in Lowe's looks. Saws, Hammers, Umbilical cord cutters, epidural needles, pools and accessories....etc. There would be at least twenty styles of each.
So like I said above, I'm glad he has the pool to help save me from his bits of insanity. :o)
TTFN

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