Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Don't burst my Bubble

I'm probably insane for sitting and writing this when I have so much else to do, oh well.

I was reading some stories and articles online about birth and other things. I'm a hopeless addict to reading whatever I can get my hands on now. I came across a discussion board that someone had posted just asking others opinions as to how they deal with negativity when they tell people that they have had or are planning a home birth/natural birth?  She then went on to talk about how she has been yelled at by people and accused of calling women who have had hospital births "weak" or "a lesser women".  I pondered this.  A few days previous I had read an article about a new Phobia that is taking ground in our country.   Tocophobia: The fear of Childbirth.<---- (this is a link so click on it)
Then my mind just started putting some things together. Now granted this is just my opinion as I am not a medical professional of any kind, my parents just taught me to think and rationalize (I probably do it too much sometimes, but hey.) Then today, when I signed on to check my e-mail this popped up in the News stories (also a link if you want to read it) Many still in awe of Christmas Miracle baby.....

That got me going.

Not to mean any offense to that family, but to be honest I don't see why people are still in awe of it. She was killed by a medical mistake (they slipped giving her the epidural and it went into her blood stream) and brought back by quick thinking/acting medical staff.  She would of never been put in that situation in the first place if we weren't so blase about medications and what could go wrong.

In response to the arguments that this person in the forum talked about, that made me wonder. She had posted that she was curious if the women yelling at her did, deep down inside, feel like a lesser women because they had a medicated/ c-section. I started to think about how, even though my sons birth was a normal/routine hospital birth, that how for some it is tramatic or can be very tramatising.  I thought of my friend and how her s-i-l had a series of botched epidurals leaving her scarred emotionally, because she was not prepared for natural childbirth. I thought of my mom and the millions of others who had been given episiotomies and those who had severe tears and infections because of it.  Being told while you are in labor that you are not dilating fast enough and being threatened with a possible c-section, being told while you are pushing that you aren't pushing efficiently enough or hard enough, and then the high post-partum mortality rate (New moms at Risk).
It's no wonder that there is a new recognized phobia that involves child birth.
I feel so bad for these women who for just walking near a maternity clothing store strikes fear into their very hearts. They have been frightened out of one of the greatest gift that women can be given in her lifetime and that is to have children and be unconditionally loved by them.  Now having had my son, I cannot imagine how empty my life was before him and this makes me sad for these girls/women that are terrified of giving birth.

This brings me around to my title. "Don't Burst my Bubble".  Planning a home birth and being comfortable about it when people question you openly or try to frighten you about "The Terrors" of what can go wrong in birth, involves having a strong bubble. It's not that I don't know what can go wrong in birth and yes I know women died in childbirth when they were birthing at home, but I also know that the hospital mortality rate is just as bad as the homebirth rap was a hundred years ago. It's just that no one is talking about it.
What does it take to build up a bubble like this? Lots of reading! (I'm not kidding!!!) Online articles, discussion forums, webisodes, videos, movies, and books (real ones!).  Most of what is available today for an want-to-be-informed women was hard to find or even hear about when my mom and grandmother were pregnant. (Yes, it was there.)  It is through reading just about anything and questioning things, not taking anything for granted. Then being armed with all this knowledge, I am able to go out into the world and say "I AM PLANNING A HOME BIRTH!!! AND I AM NOT SCARED!!"


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