Grapefruit, Dilemmas, and Affirmations

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I love grapefruit, if love is even a strong enough word for the cravings I am getting for it. I don't even have to be around a grapefruit to want it. Just thinking the word "Grapefruit" sends me into one of Pavloves response tests. I can't seem to survive the day without eating at least one, some days I have to have two. Which is ridiculous even for me. I guess I should be grateful that I'm not craving Cadbury chocolate bars, tons of coffee, or pickles and peanut butter. I just find it funny where some women want very weird things in the middle of the night, I am wanting fruit. Not even weird fruit, just regular Ruby Red Grapefruits. I am happy that my cravings took a healthy turn though. In the beginning it was mostly Tang and Salt and Vinegar chips. Not Lays mind you, those didn't have enough bite. I wanted the Archer Farms Kettle Cooked ones from Target. Those have bite, enough to make my non-pregnant self stop after about 20 chips. My pregnant self wasn't satisfied after half a bag, but I made myself stop and put it away. Sometimes my husband had to do it for me, because I didn't want too. (Now that's love right there. Most men in their right minds don't come between pregnant women and their cravings.)

My Dilemmas that have started recently are all revolving around the upcoming birth. They don't have to do with the birth itself, that I know I can handle. It's all the unknowns that are boggling my mind into headaches. The not knowing how I am going to be during a natural birth. Am I going to be vocal? Am I going to yell at everyone near me? Am I going to be quiet? Am I going to want to be naked or clothed? These wouldn't be causing me so much stress, except for one issue. I have a two, going to be three, year old. He is normally very well behaved and doesn't demand too much attention. BUT as most mothers with small kids know, as soon as something is going on, they want attention, they freak out about silly things, etc. So my plan was to have my mom and mother in law here to help with my demanding son.
This is where the above questions are starting to cause me distress. Only now they are followed with "Do I feel comfortable being naked around them? Are they going to be comfortable with me being naked around them? Will I feel comfortable letting out loud gut deep cow noises around them? Am I going to be able to handle having them around? Are they going to be able to handle being around each other while I am labor?" etc.  It's enough to drive anyone mad. I mentioned this issue at my most recent appointment and one of my midwifes offered the idea of having them staged nearby so I could call them if I need them or just call them when the baby is here. That's the other dilemma, I don't know when I am going to go into labor or how fast the labor will progress.  I'm trying to reach an answer now, so that when the time comes I won't have to think about it or worry about it. I'm going to be a bit preoccupied that day and I'm sure thinking straight isn't going to be happening.  ::sigh:: Of course no one has an answer, except for "Just go with what you feel comfortable with.". Which is great, but really a "Yes" or "No" would help more or if some wise being would just tell me. Oh well.

I started listening to the Hypno-Birthing Rainbow affirmations cd this afternoon. I still have to reread the book, but I figured listening to the cd now would help. I listened to it while I took a walk this afternoon (BRRR) to just give it a real listen to (without falling asleep) to decide if I really like it or if I want to borrow the Hypno-Babies cd's from my friend (who is due around the same time I am). I like it, but I'm not big on the voice of the lady who is talking on it. Gratefully my aunt (who I borrowed them from) had the same issue and has three of the same cds. So I'll just listen to each one until I find one that I like enough to use daily. I might still borrow the Hypno-babies cds just because I can and just to see if I like them more. Can't get enough types of relaxation techniques at this point, gotta find something to like and go with. :o)  Really I think any woman who is pregnant should listen to affirmations and relaxation techniques, they really are calming and help eliminate the fear of "I can't do this! I'm a wuss!" because really our bodies are designed to give birth. Our species wouldn't of survived if we weren't.

TTFN!